I remember so vividly almost 14 ½ years ago. I had moved to Virginia from New York to be
with Russ and although I was so happy, I was really missing my family and
friends and I became a little depressed.
Russ was teaching me to drive stick on a sunny Feb day. Somewhere around Valentine’s Day in
2002. I was having a hard time driving
stick and we pulled into the closest parking lot. That just happened to be the SPCA of
Winchester, VA.
We had talked a little about adopting a dog, to help me
adjust. We love to hike, camp and fish and
we thought a dog would make it so much better.
I had it set in my mind to adopt an adult dog. NO PUPPY!
I didn’t want to deal with potty training and crate training. We immediately came upon a run filled with
border collie/lab puppies. The lady said
that they had just come in that morning.
I covered my eyes and walked by.
I remember saying to Russ “Nope, not even going to look at them”. I knew their puppy cuteness would just suck
me in!
We walked around and there were little foo foo dogs, and
then dogs not compatible with cats.
Nothing seemed to fit.
So I wandered towards the puppies. I looked in, there were a lot of them! Black/white spotted puppies of fluff and cuteness. I can’t remember exactly how many there were,
but there were a lot of them. Maybe 8 or
10.
I opened the door and went in. All of the puppies cowered in the back. I knelt down, and one came bouncing to
me. It was like a sunlight beam shined
on her and she is all I noticed. She ran
to me, I picked her up and said this is the one.
We couldn’t decide on a name. We thought about naming her Chloe, it just
didn’t fit, so we decided on Maddie.
That’s where it all started.
When I became a dog person. I
love my cats, but since Maddie I’ve been more drawn to dogs. She was our first born.
Boy was she demanding.
Even as a puppy. She needed
constant entertaining. Oh she yelped and
cried while trying to crate train her.
I can’t remember if she was easy or difficult to potty
train.
I remember when she was still a puppy. We took her for a walk in the Old Town Mall
section of Winchester. We were so proud
of our bouncing black and white puppy.
People were walking by giving us the weirdest looks. I bent down and noticed something hanging out
of her mouth. I lifted her head up and
all I saw was 2 bird legs sticking straight out! She had picked up a dead bird and was
carrying it in her mouth. You should
have seen us trying to pry open her mouth.
She was such a strong willed dog. I remember when she was a puppy. I was giving her a bath and training her to
sit good for a nail trim. She growled at
me. I put her on her back to show her I
was dominate over her, she fought me. I
didn’t cave. I trimmed her nails and
ever since she never ever fought me again over a nail trim.
A few months after we had her we noticed she was having
trouble walking, running and jumping. We
started seeing other puppies from her litter at the animal hospital with the
same problems. Most of them were born
with severe hip dysplasia. Some of them
were put to sleep because it was so bad.
‘
When we had her spayed we xrayed her hips and saw how bad it
was on both sides. Her only hope was to
have TPO surgery (triple pelvic osteotomy) on her right hip. It’s where they break her hip, put it back
the right way with pins and plates. But
we had to wait until she was 6 months old.
She recovered really well from it and she was able to lead a
somewhat normal life. She was always
hiking and camping with us. Swimming and
playing fetch and traveling to New York with us.
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| This picture was taken last fall |
In 2002 we adopted Woody to give her a play mate.
They spent the next 14 years being inseparable.
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| They are only 1 year apart in age. An old man and an old lady in this picture. |
Who would have thought that those 14 years would fly by at
lightening speed. We were just kids when
we adopted her. We were 23 years old and
just starting our life together.
She was with us through it all. Our first home. Marriage.
Kids. Miscarriages. Family deaths. Family events. Happiness and tears. And then moving and starting our small farm.
And here we are. Planning
her death. Her hips can’t take
anymore. She’s lost the sparkle in her
eyes. She can’t even make it outside in
time to potty. This is from the dog who
NEVER had an accident in the house. I
remember one time she had diarrhea while we were at work. She went into the bathroom and did it.
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| Relaxing with Woody nearby |
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| Every single day he would clean her eyes and ears |
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| I'm really going to miss those paws |
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| She always loved giving her Daddy kisses |
So today is her last day here on earth. Tomorrow morning I will take her into my work
and have her put to rest. Today the kids
and I took her to McDonalds, bought a bunch of food to go and went to the
river. We had a picnic with her. She had 2 double cheeseburgers, French fries
and part of a chicken sandwich.
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| I've loved getting 14 years older with you Maddie Dawg |
I walked her down to the river for a last swim. That was always her favorite thing to
do. Something told me to keep her on a
leash. She waded around and Jaylee found
her a stick. She fetched the stick a few
times and played with it. For a moment I
saw the sparkle back in her eyes. I thought
that maybe it wasn’t her time yet. Maybe
she has a little more time with us. But
then she fell and she couldn’t get out of the water. I’m so glad that I listened to myself and
didn’t let her swim far out in the river.
She wanted to.
We had so much fun with her.
We laughed and splashed and smiled.
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| Watching over her kids |
I had to use a blanket as a sling because she just couldn’t get
up. She couldn’t get into the
truck. And now 4 hours later she is
still sleeping.
She’s ready. I got
the confirmation that I needed that the time was right. I want her to have a little dignity left
going into the euthanasia tomorrow.
She’s the alpha female. All she
has to do is look at the other dogs and they know better. Even in her weakest moments she still
controls the pack.
She has been on 3 different types of pain medications. But it isn’t enough. I sat down and thought about the things that
she can still do that she loves. Eating
was the only thing. She won’t catch a
ball anymore. She’s too painful to swim. The
kids tried to play with her with the hose the other day. Normally she would snap and bite at the
water. She went to the door to go back
inside. Last summer even though she was
painful she would still follow the kids around outside. She would play in the hose and catch a ball. She even went swimming a few times. Not this summer.
Over the past few weeks we have noticed a steady
decline. She seems like she doesn’t hear
us most of the time. She will be laying
there like she is sleeping, but her eyes are open. Just staring off. She rarely greets us or wags her tail
anymore.
Russ said that he cannot be there for her euthanasia. I completely understand. I on the other hand need to be with her. I don’t care how hard it is. She needs me.
She picked me as her human that day, so I will be there to help her slip
away into her next life.
This is our first big dog loss. We’ve put down the family dog when I was a
teenager, but not a dog of my own. I sat
the kids down last night and told them.
They were so upset, and had many questions.
I think it was nice that we could prepare for this. It gave us all time to let it sink in, to
come to terms with it.
Life will never be the same without having Maddie in our
home. She had become such a presence in
our family. But I consider it a gift to
help her transition to the next life. A
life without pain.
So this brings me to the next day. Russ and the kids went off to a dentist
appointment. Maddie went outside to use
the bathroom. Usually she comes right
back to the door barking to come in. I
found her laying in the grass. She
wasn’t interested in eating her breakfast and she refused her medicine. I thought maybe she would like to eat
outside; she just turned her nose.
I clipped a small locket of fur and then I loaded her into
the backseat of the car. My stomach was
in knots, I felt like I was going to throw up.
Her euthanasia experience was extremely peaceful and
fast. I held her with my forehead
pressed against her, while she fell asleep and then slipped away. She didn’t whine or cry. She didn’t fight it. She was ready.
I felt such sadness and disbelief, but I also felt
relief. Relieved that she wasn’t in pain
anymore. Life on earth is temporary, but
she had so much more waiting for her. She touched our hearts; she really was such a
sweet and really good dog.
I wanted to share this experience so that others are not
afraid to go thru this experience with their pets. Even with young children, it’s important to
be honest and open with them about what and why it needs to happen.
It’s truly a gift to remove them of their pain and
suffering.
I want to thank my friends, family and coworkers at Inwood Animal Center. Over the past week they have all given me advice and comfort making this decision. When it came time they made Maddie and I comfortable during the process.
As a Veterinary Technician I give others advice all of the time about how you know when it's time for euthanasia. You know in your heart when it's time. There is a different look in your pet's eyes that you can't describe.
I hope that this post can help someone else struggling with this decision and bring them comfort.
