Miracles.....

I think that Marilyn Monroe said it best when she said this quote……“I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” I can give you the perfect example. My little Marshall turned a year old exactly one month from today.

In between Jaylee and Marshall we were pregnant with another child. Two years ago, the day before Valentine’s Day, we found out that we lost our baby to a miscarriage. I never thought that I would ever see Valentine’s Day the same again ever. I knew that it would always be a constant

reminder of what happened.

Then we had ourselves…..a little miracle. Three months later we got pregnant again. Our little (well not so little) Marshall Thomas was born the day after Valentine’s Day. He was born almost exactly 1 year after we lost our baby. He was born on his due date at 12:13 a.m. If he came 13 minutes earlier he would have been born on Valentine’s Day. That is our miracle.

Isn’t that so amazing? Now we associate Valentine’s Day with his birthday. Don’t get me wrong, we will always think about the baby that we lost. And we will never forget what happened. But it puts it into a whole different light.


The thought occurred to me the other day, like it often does, that my kids are not going to be this age forever. I sometimes hug Marshall so tight and ask him to stay this age forever. It makes me feel so happy to see both of my kids changing and developing with each and every step. But the feeling is bitter sweet. I know that before I know it they will be off on their own starting their own lives. I know that will be great too, but it just seems so strange to me.



So this is our own personal little miracle.



Peace and love......

A trip to the dentist and other adventures…

She was armed with an elmo bucket full of bouncy balls. I walked down the stairs, swiffer in hand, minding my own business. She came out of nowhere yelling, “You will never win monster!” She warned me, but I didn’t listen. I chuckled and began to swiffer the floor, not knowing how serious she really was. I then became showered in an ammunition of bouncy balls.

True story. That really happened. It was one of the moments that I love and will never forget. Just like when Jaylee pushed Marshall’s highchair up to the back door to show him the outside. Then they played peek a boo through the curtain.

Today was Jaylee’s first trip to the dentist. She was an angel. She watched me get my teeth cleaned. When it was her turn she hopped right into the chair no problem! She opened her mouth all wide and said “Ahhhhhhhh”. She didn’t shed a tear. She looked like a little girl in that chair. I realized that she isn’t my baby anymore. She is almost 3 years old, and it has gone by so fast.

I tell you what I couldn’t imagine my life without these kids. They are so stinkin’ cute and so hilarious. Yes it is hard, and yes I am so tired. But I have never been happier. Without my little family, I don’t think I could have made it through these challenging times. Life is hard, but life is so so good.

Peace and love......

Remember to be nice......

There is nothing better than New York snow. Jaylee sure got a white Christmas that’s for sure. She loved it. She was asleep in the truck on the long 6 hour drive from West Virginia to New York. When she fell asleep the ground was brown outside. When she woke up, the ground was covered in a white blanket of fluffy, cold snow. Her eyes were huge. It was like she saw something magical happen. Even Woody our dog couldn’t wait to get outside and play in it.

Marshall even seemed excited about the snow. When it was snowing out he would open his mouth and try to catch snowflakes. He seemed to like the cold on his face.

I can’t believe that Marshall is going to be a year old already next month. He is pulling himself up on his feet. He’s traveling across furniture and walls. He looks up at you with this look and you can tell that he is proud of himself.

I think ahead to the future. What will Jaylee and Marshall be like as teenagers? I picture Jaylee storming up the stairs and slamming her door. Sassing back and never getting off of the phone. I picture Marshall listening to his headphones too loud. Coming home past his curfew and not finishing his homework.


What will they be like as adults? I can feel in my heart that they are going to do good things in this life. But I guess every mother likes to think that right? I look at them and I can already see that they are pretty cool people. I hope that we can instill good things in them. There are so many people on this planet that are just, not nice.


Lately it seems, in my experience anyways, that there are a lot of people in this world that are so unhappy that they want to make everyone around them unhappy as well. Why? What happened to being kind? Over the past few months I have had a little bit of bad luck with people. I couldn’t figure out why. But now I think I figured it out. I think that was the universes way of validating something for me. I now know how important it is to instill good values in my children.

Don’t get me wrong. I have lost friends. I have met people who have been terribly unfair and unkind to me. But I have gained a lot more. Because of these things, I have gained new friends. I saw how much the family and friends that I already have really do care about me. Everything happens for a reason and that has been proven to me over the past month or so.

So I guess the moral of the story is….
Just be nice.

Peace and love.

Christmas Chaos

There is something so magical about the month leading up to Christmas. This is one of my favorite times of the year. And it is even better now that Jaylee is really getting into it. She is so into it this year. When we put up the tree she was so excited. Every morning when she wakes up, she asks if she can go downstairs and see the Christmas tree.

It brings me back to my childhood. I remember feeling the excitement of driving somewhere and seeing Christmas lights, and quick glimpses of Christmas trees in windows. The smell of newly baked Christmas cookies covered in sprinkles; presents under the tree with big bows and shiny paper. It was almost unbearable to have to wait another day.

I can’t wait to see and hear her on Christmas morning. Marshall won’t know what is going on, but I know he will have fun tearing up wrapping paper and pounding on boxes. Oh, and the food. He will love the food. Family, friends and everything in between. It really doesn't get any better than this.

I am so blessed to have who I have in my life. My family and friends…I couldn’t ask for anything more. That is what is most important after all. The gifts are fun, but they really don’t matter. I think that a lot of people lose sight of that.

So keep that in mind when that lady runs you over with a stroller in the mall. Or when some guy cuts you off in your car. Laugh it off and say to yourself.....I love the holidays. It brings out the best, but also the worst in people.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Peace and Love.....

Limbo land sucks

There are no pictures in this entry. I couldn't find one to go with the theme. And I wouldn't want one to go with the theme. I'm not a negative person, by any means. But something is weighing me down, and I need to get it off of my chest.

I first started noticing the numbness and tingling in my right hand about a month or so ago. My Dr and I came to the conclusion that it was just a simple case of carpal tunnel syndrome. I wish I could be that lucky. For the past month my symptoms have brought me down hard. I am starting to get used to that pins and needles sensation in my fingers and toes. My feet feel like they are ice blocks that weigh 500 lbs! The weakness and pain in my hands and arms are becoming routine. I have started using my middle fingers and pinky fingers instead of my index fingers for the most part now. My neck is constantly stiff and a little sore. My new symptom of the day is my lips and the tip of my tongue are slightly numb. The weirdest part is that it isn't constant. It comes and goes throughout the day. The only constant thing is the loss of sensation and pain in my hands. They are always weak, but sometimes they get weaker.

My whole perception changed that night in the ER when the Dr mentioned two letters to me that could and may change my life completely. MS. This is my limbo right now. The waiting game begins. As all of my other test results slowly come back negative, all that is left is MS. I am still waiting on my Lyme Disease test and my Rheumatoid arthritis test. I never thought I would hope to have one of those diseases. Right now I would rather have one of those instead of MS....I think.

I feel like I am going crazy. Everyday I try to convince myself that all of this is my imagination getting away from me. But then I can't pull a diaper out of a pack, or pulling up Jaylee's pants was almost impossible. But every week something new happens.

One thing is for sure, I still have my babies to take care of. I still have my life to live. We will figure this out, and we will get through this....whatever this is. The hardest part is trying to keep a straight head. I am trying to not think about it too much so that I can be normal and happy. I won't let it bring me down.

So now that I vented, I feel a little better. All I ask from my friends and family is for a little prayer here and there. Good or bad, this will all pass I am sure.
Thanks for listening.

Peace and love.....

Daddy has a hippo.

Russ has been sick with a really bad head cold. He was sick in bed most of the day on Saturday. Jaylee kept asking where “Russ” was. Yes - she calls us Russ and Kel. Sometimes we are Mommy and Daddy, and sometimes we are Russ and Kel. It is so funny how upset other people get when they hear this. I have had friends say things under their breath about it. I love that she does it. She is just pretending to be one of us. She hears us call each other that, so she does too. It has gone up a notch. Since I have started babysitting a little girl named Riley who calls Russ “Uncle Russ”; now sometimes Daddy is referred to as Uncle Russ by Jaylee. This is really going to start confusing people, who don’t know us very well!

So all day Saturday I kept telling Jaylee that Daddy was sick with a bad head cold. She helped me bring him soup and crackers. At one point she was playing pretend with her Elmo doll. She started telling Elmo that Daddy was really, really sick. Elmo asked what was wrong with him and Jaylee exclaimed that Daddy was sick with a hippo. Headcold, hippo....I can kind of see it. I wish I had it on film. That will always be engraved into my memory. I can still hear her little voice saying it with such sympathy; like he had some incurable hippo disease.

We started putting Marshall in his walker lately. He has totally mastered the whole crawling thing 100%. But he isn’t satisfied with it. He wants to be upright and mobile like his sister. He gets so frustrated when he finally makes it into the same room that Jaylee is in. By the time he gets there and starts playing she leaves. And he gets so mad. The walker makes it so much easier for him to keep up with her. She runs and he runs right behind her in it. Jaylee even hitches a ride on the back and he is so strong that he can take her from room to room.

He isn’t always the most polite driver though. He crashes into your heel with such force that it brings tears to your eyes. The dogs and Jaylee run in terror trying to salvage their feet from being run over. And if you have food, forget it! He rams you over and over until you share.

Marshall and his love of food are amazing to me. He stared at the Thanksgiving spread in such awe. I swear he had a tear in his eye. He tried and liked everything. Even the pickled beets! He was such a mess afterwards.

Lately I have definitely learned the power of living in the “now”. Stop worrying about the future and stop thinking about the past. Stay in the now. That is all that matters. Now is when these little moments happen. That is how children and animals live their lives, and that is why they don’t have a worry in the world. If you start looking at things in a new light you will see that life is good!


Peace and love....

When cookie monster attacks, and other adventures….

I may be partial…but I sware that I have some awesome kids! No really…I have a 2 ½ year old daughter who has a better sense of humor than most adults that I know! Anyone who has met Jaylee, can and will probably agree. A day with Jaylee never goes without laughter! She does one of the best slap stick routines that I have ever seen.

This skit that she did started with her putting on a puppet show for me and Marshall. It soon ended with Cookie Monster attacking her. It was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen, aside from the Airplane movies!! What made it funny was that it was totally unexpected. It was all cute and sweet. She was trying so hard to imitate his voice. Then her and Cookie Monster started fighting over something, which ended with him pinning her to the ground. I was in tears. Then she laid there calling for help.

We took Jaylee bowling this weekend. Russ and I used to bowl just about every weekend before we had kids, so we decided to take them. We all had a really fun time! Jaylee pulled a fast one on me.

I called her over to me but she didn’t want to come. She picked up Russ’s phone and pretended to be too busy. That’s my girl. She used the oldest trick in the book. Boy, are we in trouble!

Marshall is her number one fan. He laughs so hard and loud at her comedy routines. He laughs so hard that his eyes water and he can’t catch his breath. That kind of laughter is contagious and it is the best kind. He is most always smiling and laughing.

He has this look in his eyes that I can’t explain. He is going to do good in this world, I can feel it.

It makes me so proud that I have such happy, well adjusted, humor loving children. It makes me so happy that they can see the joy and humor in life. People get so caught up in their stressful lives that they forget how to be happy.

What you put out in the world is returned to you. If you put out positive things into the world, positive things happen to you. If you put out negativity, bad things happen to you. It is so simple. Even if things are going wrong, and you are having a crappy day….there is a reason for that. If you can find the positive in the worse of situations then you are good to go!

I am instilling this in my children. And I hope that they make the best of it. Life is what you make it. It’s not what you have or don’t have. It’s not who you have or don’t have. It is how you see the world around you. It is how you deal with the world around you. Everyone has the power to be happy and to enjoy life to the fullest.


Laughter really is the best medicine. It’s so boring to be serious anyways.
Peace and love....